Saturday, July 02, 2005

What sales people really mean when they say...

New: Different color from previous design.

All new: Parts not interchangable with previous design.

Designed simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.

Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

Direct sales only: Factory had big argument with distributor.

Years of development: We finally got one that works.

Revolutionary: It's different from our competitiors.

Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.

Improved: Didn't work the first time.

Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.

Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.

Re-designed: Previous faults corrected, we hope.

Performance proven: Will operate through the warranty period.

Meets all standards: Ours, not yours.

Broadcast quality: Gives a picture and produces noise.

High reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.

SMPTE bus compatible: When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound.

New generation: Old design failed, maybe this one will work.

Unprecedented performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.

Built to precision tolerances: We finally got it to fit together.

Microprocessor controlled: Does things we can't explain.

Latest aerospace technology: One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.