The first meeting of the "Poor Bloody Bosses and Owners Union"

Brothers, sisters, comrades - lend me your ears.

It is time for solidarity. Time for us to stand up for our rights and take the power away from the tyrants who shackle us and hold us in human bondage. No Samantha, there's nothing wrong with that but kindly leave last night out of this if you don't mind.

Yes comrades, it is time for us to cry, "United We Stand." and "Bosses united, we'll never be defeated.........Time for us to stand up to the trade unions! Quick someone get a mop. I think I just cured Peter's constipation.

Time for us, "The Poor Bloody Bosses And Owners," to get the same rights as employees! It is time...yes George, I know I use the word "time" a lot - I'm in time-management.

Some of us here have spent a lot of time with our backs against the wall - No Samantha, you can't say something about that - and please stop winking. Remember please Samantha, we are the bosses - the elite. It is up to us to uphold standards and set a good example. Peter, would you please finish that call and turn off your cell phone. Yes, I know you are speaking to your accountant and the guards only allow him one phone call a day, but this is important.

Yes comrades, our backs are against the wall - a wall that due to strikes wont be finished until Nov 2007!

We ask - no we DEMAND - the right to finish work no later than 2am. We demand one day off per month - providing we have finished all the paper work for the Industrial Relations Tribunal.

It is our right to see our family in the evening and not just at breakfast. I am one of the lucky ones. I see my son for hours every day - he's a trade union official.

Have you ever wished that you too could sit at your desk and read your private email?

Wouldn't you like to take home as many felt tip pens and markers as you can fit in your pocket? After all, did we not pay for them in the first place!

I know it seems impossible, but we too can have the same rights as employees! We can enjoy time off, holidays, lunch breaks and popping out for a quick - Samantha please let me finish the sentence - smoke.

On September 1st, we will take to the streets and march in protest...we can't? Oh, I didn't know the toll booth collectors will be on strike that day. In that case, on Sept 2nd....no good? The train drivers are on strike. I see. No problem, we just postpone the march.

On Sept 3rd....uhu...the unions are marching that day in support of the train drivers and toll booth collectors.

Very well, there is only thing for me to do. Mary, can I borrow your newspaper? Not all of it, just the situations vacant pages.