Work is fun: You could do worse

If you really want that new job, you may want to avoid saying these:

"You could do worse."

"I'll work so hard you won't even know I'm there."

"You can't turn me down because I smell bad. You have to have a reason."

"If you call the people I listed as references, please call my parole officer last."

"I don't do drugs at work any more. And I probably won't"

"I can go all day without peeing once."

"I won't sue you when you fire me."

"My arrest record is all a bunch of lies."

"Iff you kin reed my handriting, ain't that gud enuff fer me to get the job?

"The only reason my grades in High School was so bad was because all the teachers thought I was stupid because I didn't pass the tests. They wasn't being fair to me because they don't like me."

"I can make explosives from Windex, white-out, and copy machine toner."

"If you hire me don't tell the Welfare until I get my Jeep paid off."

"You don't have the BALLS to hire someone like me!"

"If you hire me I will show up. That's all I can promise for sure, but maybe it will be better than that and I will sure try."

"How long do I have to work here before I can collect unemployment again?" "Don't go checking into my record, but if you do, she swore she was 16."

"This will be my first job since the Beatles broke up because they really pissed me off!"

"I won't have to do anything, will I"