Sometimes it doesn't pay to have ones photo on a blog. Take today for instance.There I was waiting for a bus, when an old lady walked up to me. She gave me a look that automatically made me check if my fly was open. Having confirmed that I was respectably dressed, I noticed she continued to scrutinise, looking me up and down and closing one eye then the other.
Finally she spoke.
"You're him aren't ya? 'im that writes that blog".
I confirmed that I indeed was the author and publisher of the blog known as "i On Global Trends".
"Pompous bleeding title isn't it? Why couldn't you have called it "Me on Global Trends" or "Myself on Global Trends"?
"No, no, you have it wrong. it is 'i' as in 'eye'" I explained.
"So why didn't you spell it like that instead of confusing people?"
"I think most people will realise the significance of the small 'i' and realise it actually means 'eye'," I - with a big 'I' - replied.
"I didn't. Still don't. Anyway, if that's what you mean, why don't you call it "An Eye On Global Trends?"
"Why don't you..." I began, then noticed an umbrella sticking out the top of her shopping trolley.
"I will consider it. But I thank you for reading and I am glad you enjoy it."
'I read it. Didn't say anything about enjoying it. It's boring".
"Boring?" I enquired.
"Boring. What you need to do is sex it up a bit".
"Sex it up? It's a business blog. How can you sex up a business blog? Would you like me to have pictures of semi naked women draped over a BMW; stories of randy vicars spanking naughty 37 year old schoolgirls for not doing their homework? Perhaps I should give advice on sexing up ones sex life?"
"Nah, of course not. I already have one like that bookmarked. No, what you need to do is make people think there is more to the articles than meets the eye - and that's eye spelled the proper bleeding way too young man".
"Conspiracy theories you mean?"
"Yeah, those things. And them training articles. Booooring. Don't make sense either",
"Why not?" I asked.
"Well, take them barricades to learning. Things like language and numeracy".
Curiosity overcame me and I prompted her to continue.
"What I want to know is, if they can't speak English and can't add up - why did you employ them in the first bleeding place?"
At that moment a bus pulled up. I bid her a hurried good day and jumped aboard. It wasn't the bus I wanted, but as I will explain in a future series of articles, it is alway advisable to have an exit strategy!
Wherever you may be - be safe!
Photo: I am running out of original photos, so this is a recycled one of buskers at Circular Quay in Sydney
