Tonight's photo: I find this photo - especially the full size version - has a very calming effect on me. I simply call it, "Togetherness"Reposted: When I first made this post, I didn't realise that half the post was missing!
I don't like going to the doctor. Not one little bit.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am afraid of what he may tell me about my health - it's just the whole thing in general.
For example, I spend a week wondering if the pain in my stomach is (a) my imagination (b) indigestion or (c) worth a visit to the doctor.
When I finally make the decision to make an appointment, I then sit in a waiting room which is (1) full of sick people (2) used as a training ground for the Under-Seven, Olympic Toy Throwing Event.
Participants in the above event are motivated by their personal coaches - otherwise known as "mums". Using reverse psychology to get the child to throw the toys even further and with more noise, they urge, "Daniel, don't do that, that's a good boy" and go back to reading last year's Vogue magazine, so as to avoid the stares cast their way by people who feel like they are knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door.
Daniel of course wants to assert his authority, so he immediately sets a personal best record by throwing Thomas The Tank Engine, right across the room to the water cooler. By this time Daniel is knackered from his efforts, which is why he ignores his mum's advise to "go and pick it up" and lets her do it instead.
Mind you, they don't all throw toys. Oh no.
They stand in front of me and stare.
Is there anything more unnerving than an anklebiter standing in front of you - just staring. If I were an al-Kebab terrorist and the CIA wanted information from me, all they need do is put a staring four year old in front of me and I'd confess to anything as long as they take the little bugger away.
What do I say to them in situations like that? "Hello, what's your name?" seems so 1950s. And I don't think, "what's wrong with you that a good kick up the bum wouldn't put right?" would go down well with mum - who is already looking at me as though I am about to snatch her little darling away and take him on holiday to Cambodia.
Then the doctor appears in the doorway and calls my name.
"Michael".
Of course it is not the done thing to use his first name - oh no. You are expected to show due reverence and address him formally. Well, other people do, but I don't.
"Hello John" I reply and he visibly winces at such brash informality.
I then brace myself for what is to come. I know exactly what is going to happen next and although I prepare myself in advance, I get caught each time. With an off-the-shelf smile he points the way to his office and asks,
"How are you today Michael?".
You know what I am going to say don't you!"
I'm fine" I reply.
All this trauma - and that's before I even sit down and the fun really begins!
Wherever you may be - be safe!
