Over the last few days, I've heard kids say things that we never would have said in my day.Don't get me wrong, I haven't quite turned into one of those miserable old gits who sit in pubs bemoaning, "we weren't like that when we were kids" or "'summers were hotter when I were a lad" (which must mean all the experts are wrong and we are actually experiencing Global Cooling) and talking about bringing back conscription and free milk for schools.
Are there any Brits my age who remember free school milk? Crates of milk left out in the sun all morning - a concept only the British education system, run by experts straight out of Cambridge or Oxford University with Masters degrees in boating and badminton, could devise.
I was actually quite amused by what these kids said - but they were definitely not the sort of thing we could have imagined saying when I was a lad - back when summers were hotter!
On Saturday, I overheard a male ankle-biter aged about six, telling his mum that he didn't want to go to "class" that morning. It was probably one of those things kids urge their parents to let them join, then get bored with after two weeks, or mum's idea of self-development. Only this time it wasn't the normal piano or singing lessons.
"Mum, I don't want to go to yoga class this morning. I want to play football".
Yoga?
At that age I'd heard of Yogi Bear, but never yoga - although I did become a trendsetter in school by being the first to bring yoghurt for lunch.
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Walking home this evening two schoolgirls were walking behind me and I overheard one tell her friend, "I had to go to school today - we had basketball practice".
Considering today is Tuesday and the kids are back in school, I would have thought the word, "had" was rather superfluous. Is basketball compulsory and maths and English optional?
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Her mention of basketball jogged my memory and I recalled that in my school, boys played basketball and girls played netball, (similar to basketball but quite different if that makes sense!). Netball is supposed to be a non-contact game for females, but if you ever watch Australia and New Zealand play, you can forget all about that concept! I can also speak from personal experience.
The photograph shows the school team along with Polly, the tyrannical sports mistress who would borrow a cane from her boyfriend - the geography and sports teacher. I used to have a crush on the girl on the bottom right of the photo. Also in the photo is a girl I met up with again on the Internet several years ago, who then became a business associate of mine.
Every so often the boys sports teacher would get together with the girls sports teacher, and arrange a "Boys Vs Girls" netball match. Every time the boys were warned there would be severe consequences for anyone that deliberately fouled or hurt a girl - which was fair enough as far as I was concerned - at least the first time I heard it.
The problem was, no one bothered to give the girls a similar warning.
Our school was supposed to produce genteel, well mannered females. As far as I know, genteel well mannered females, do not elbow, trip, or "accidentally" kick you in the shins. Nor do they shoulder charge you, (pretending they were running and couldn't stop in time to avoid hitting the poor sod who happened to be in their way).
We couldn't retaliate and the girls knew that all too well, so we just had to "cop it sweet" and think of revenge. Which is why one girl ended up being tied to the school railing by her hair - and I ended up with a black eye - for releasing the poor kid.
And she still, turned me down when I asked her out!
