The Grubs: I can't tell you how grateful I am - and I mean that literally

"Kate and I would like to emphasise that if anyone who thinks they have information relevant to Madeleine’s abduction, then please pass this on to your local police. It does not help us to receive such information directly- we will only pass it on to the police for it to be considered in context of the overall investigation. If people are unhappy to speak to the police directly information can be given to ithe nternational crimestoppers anonymously. (sic)"

Yep, Gerry can't tell you how grateful he is, so he doesn't even bother to try.

You can always rely on good old Gerry to be appreciative of the efforts of those trying to find the little girl he and his wife premeditatedly abandoned.

Gerry, you and your team of highly paid advisors are supposed to gain the sympathy of the public - not treat them like National Health Service patients - and you know where I am coming from with that remark don't you Gerry - and so do most others in Britain. Except of course for the class you associate with - such as your devout Catholic wife who has so much class she treats a Rosary as a fashion accessory you wear down the Dog and Duck on Ladies Darts Night.

Gerry, those Sticky-Back-Plastic people you have working for you, wouldn't get a job writing a shopping list in Sydney, let alone running a PR campaign. Between you, you have succeeded in turning a Pillar of Society into a Pillock of Society.

Gerry, I understand what you are trying to say - but there is a right way to do things and a wrong way. Just for once in your life - take the road less travelled. (bet you didn't think I would know that one did you?)

Oh yes - I knew there was something else. Your recent statement to the media. Just have a canape while I try to find it. Ah yes, here it is.

"Mr McCann said he and wife Kate wanted "more than anything" to get their daughter back. Appealing for help, he said: 'Any information, no matter how unimportant you think it could be might be vital in helping the Portuguese and British police find our daughter.' "

Now to someone who got kicked out of Grammar School for speaking out too much - and fair does - for being as thick as a brick as well, (we will gloss over that part, I know you don't object to a bit of glossing over as you do it yourself all the time), that strikes me as being rather hypocritical when you consider the statement on your blog. May I re-write it for you so it is more accurate? How about this -

"'Any information, no matter how unimportant you think it could be might be vital in helping the Portuguese and British police find our daughter - just don't bother us with it".

Oh hold on - I forgot something, but I need you to clarify something for me. You only mention the British and Portuguese police trying to find your daughter.

Do you want me to include you and Kate as well?