The Grubs: Kidding myself all these years

I have received a few emails questioning both my ability and my right to talk about the McCanns, considering that I don't have children of my own. To be honest, I think that is a valid point.

But as far as I know, babies aren't born with instructions on the back of the packet. I think many mother's would be insulted to see, "Do not leave out in the rain" or "Feed regularly" stamped on their newborn's bottoms. Such warnings and instructions are generally not needed - they are basic instincts that do not require a Masters degree from an eminent university in order to know.

Neither does, "Do not leave unattended."

I became involved in this issue because I was tired of The Grubs, being referred to as intelligent, caring, responsible parents. One report even went as far as proclaiming the couple to be an example to all parents. It was at that moment that I realised the world had gone stark, raving bonkers.

Such remarks not only insult my intelligence, (and I do have some, even if I don't have a bit of paper from an eminent university to prove it) but an insult to all parents. The poor bloody battlers who stay in night after night, because their children are more precious than having a swinging old time with friends in a Tapas bar.

It's an insult to the parents of children with disabilities. Parents emotionally, physically and mentally buggered because they can not get respite or care facilities. They fill in form after form and get sweet but empty smiles from strangers behind desks - strangers upon whom all their hopes for just a little time to themselves, rest.

No, I am not a parent. However, I do know how I would feel if some cub reporter writing for British newspapers that have for some time been a laughing stock over here, where excellence in journalism is a little above vicars and naughty 30 year old schoolgirls, told me that two selfish bastards who continuously left children unattended, were better parents than myself and my wife.

I was angry that "Fleet Street" hacks, virtually belittled the efforts of parents who care enough about the littlies they bought into the world, that they don't need to wear themselves out organising glow in the dark dinner plates to sell on damage control websites. Gerry McCann, Leicestershire's answer to Arthur Daley, has changed from being a failure as a father, into Franklins Mint.

Above all, I was angry that a little girl was missing and the British media seemed more concerned about the reputation of the parents responsible for her plight. The toddlers photo and lonliness a mere tool to sell newspapers.

To say the McCanns have parenting skills, is like saying sex with a hooker is making love. There is a lot more to it than just going through the motions.

Oh, before my detractors ask me the obvious question in relation to the above comment - the answer is yes. I am sure you will find my explanation just as acceptable as the McCanns, "thousands of others do the same thing".

Maybe I don't know how to handle a child, but I always believed that it would be the same as the advice Richard Harris gave in Camelot, about how to handle a woman.

"Love them, simply love them - love them"

I always believed that if you start with that, then through all the years your children need you - the rest of the instructions just kind of fall naturally into place.

But according to the British media, I and millions of others like me, have been kidding ourselves all these years.

If you have not seen it already, (or maybe you would like to see it again) please see Excuse me - but you know something don't you? just please be careful not to respond in a manner that may force me to delete your comment!