Join now while membership is still available!

This post is not intended to make light of what has become the main focus of this blog recently, but I thought it was time to introduce light-weight content and slowly get the blog to it's main focus and propose.

No, I am not easing off on The Grubs, and I will still post almost daily on the matter and dig around - but I have to be practical in regard to my own circumstances. There are a few "cynical" references to the Grubs, in the content below, but that is aimed purely at two people who deserve no respect - and will receive none from me.

Oh yes - I uploaded a new photo to the photoblog (no advertising, so detractors can get that idea out of their little heads).

Apparently someone has suggested to me that I should set up a fan club. I actually didn't see that comment for some reason but I think it is a great idea.

It will enable me to offer discerning readers quality merchandise at affordable prices. I've been having behind the scenes meetings with my government appointed advisors - courtesy of Social Security - and we have come up with the following catalogue.

Musical , glow in the dark, limited edition figurines of me singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts"

A DVD which includes rare footage of me in a Tapas bar, dancing on the table and rattling my maracas.

Autographed photos - either with or without my teeth. But If you think I'm taking my shirt and woolly vest off in this weather, you have another thing coming.

A signed copy of my "Phrase Book For Mums" Includes useful phrases such as, "if you fall over and break your leg, don't coming running to me" "If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times" "Not in that dress you're not" "Oh you think so? I've got news for you"

A signed copy of my "Phrase Book For Dads". Includes such useful phrases as, "For God's sake don't let your mum see that, she'll have a fit."

A CD of my favourite songs. includes popular numbers, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (I put my teeth in for that one), "Edelweiss" (or as my mother calls it, 'Idle Swine' she's a bit of a worry at times is my mum), "I left my heart in San Diego (yes I know, but this version is easier to spell).

A Mike H rocket ship made out of a Fairy Liquid bottle and sticky back plastic. The rocket ship is adorned with a picture of a tortoise on the side, (my apology to Non-Brits, who will have no idea what I mean!).

British members will each get a Crackerjack Pencil inscribed with the words, "Gerry, you know where you can stick this".

A mechanical toy in my likeness. To turn on, press the right buttons and place on a flat surface.

Hurry now while membership is still available!

Membership fee: $250 per year. All fees go towards my "Around the World's Dinner Tables In Eighty Days" quest.