Goodnight from Sydney

It's 1:23 am now and I am off for a relatively early night.

However, before I leave, I have some alleged news that is reportedly about to break.

Allegedly, the reason behind Gerry's alleged fashion sense is that it is a forerunner to his new image for an alleged forthcoming TV series. "McCann - Leicester Medico," will be proudly sponsored by The Leicester Mercury, an alleged newspaper, (providing they still have tea money in the kitty).

The idea is to pitch Gerry as the NHS version of Don Johnson, as he travels around the world saving everyone else's children except his own. During his Quest he also goes in search of WMD's, Osama bin Laden, The Loch Ness Monster and the Holy Grail.

He does this by attending meetings, selling ribbons and shouting, "Let's do lunch" down his mobile phone that has been donated by an unnamed sponsor.

Along the way he encounters strange people with strange accents, asking strange questions such as, "Why". His faithful assistant makes a few phone calls and the media immediately spring to his defence complaining he was "grilled" and "forced to defend himself".

Dastardly foreigners!

Our hero will be shown as the proud father of twins, who by the age of two have advanced telephone skills and by the age of three, can look after younger children - just like their sister was expected to.

McCann - Leicester Medico. He will make you proud you are different.

Till next time...

Wherever you may be - be safe