The Grubs: The Sweet Painted Ladies of the British Press strike again

The Sunday Express carries the promising headline, "Maddy's Parents To Face Inquiry" with an opening paragraph, "Prosecutors asked to probe why toddler was left in room".

Note the emotive words "Maddy" and "Toddler" although it should actually have been, "toddlers" as three children aged three and under were left unattended.

You beauty I thought.

Silly me.

Turning to page two, I soon realised the Sunday Express have done what the British media have done right from the start of this tragedy. They lay down like whores to please Team McCann.

Of course, everyone else is to blame. "Sinister rumours on the Internet and malicious allegations in the Portuguese press" have forced the enquiry according to Cub reporter Matt Drake, who perhaps like his name sake, Sir Francis, was busy playing with his bowls. It's interesting that Drake adopts the same strategy as Justine McGuiness in her responses to emails - blaming the scurrilous Portuguese media.

McCann says he and his wife are outraged and hurt - forced to seek legal advice in case the CPS decides to prosecute.

Pull the other one McCann. Within a short time of being released from initial questioning, two high priced QCs were winging their way to you courtesy of the favours you, your friends and your rat-bag family called in. Hell, your relatives hardly had chance to give up their jobs before you were receiving legal advice.

Justine McGuiness is quoted as saying, "There are things they might have done differently with the benefit of hindsight"

Gawd love us Justine, I actually don't mind you, but you shouldn't be allowed to speak without the supervision of a responsible adult - and I don't mean Gerry - we have already lost a child, a nanny and a wallet - the only thing safe is Cuddle Cat, which needed as a marketing tool and well looked after.

Could you at least have used the word "probably" instead of "might"? Heaven forbid, you could even have been proactive and used the phrase, "would have".

All you are telling the public - who you obviously believe to be as thick as two short Uncle Brians, that given the same circumstances, there is no guarantee your clients would not do the same thing again!

As McCann prepared to fly to Washington (leaving his wife to face the music on her own - gee, what a caring, protective husband you are McCann), he told reporters, "Anyone who knows us, knows we love our children. We have always taken our responsibilities as parents with the utmost seriousness."

Actually McCann, I haven't seen too many people outside of your family or close circle of friends, who have come forward to say how loving you are. In fact, there seems to be a pact of silence.

At the end of the article McCann again contradicts himself. "The authorities have assured us they regard the criticisms as without foundation".

In that case McCann, why did you state you had sought legal advice in case the CPS decides to prosecute? And who is paying for your legal advice? Is it being bankrolled by The Fund?

Could one of your advisors please make a statement clarifying this issue?

One of your relatives has already been quoted as saying the fund is needed to pay lawyers. This however is rather more serious. If CPS do prosecute and you face criminal charges, are you - and will you - pay legal expenses out of your own pocket or from the fund? In other words, are the public funding legal advice for someone who faces potential criminal charges?

It's time to stop blaming the Internet, it's time to stop blaming the poor Portuguese who are sick and tired of these two grubs, and time for the gutless British media, whose reputation stinks like a dead rat in a sauna, to put the blame fair and squarely where it belongs.

Kate and Gerry McCann.

They left their children alone, not us, not the Portuguese media - Kate and Gerry McCann.

I was overjoyed this morning when I saw the headline. Now I can see which way this is going. An investigation - then a whitewash.

The brushes are out already.