Your first time

I bet some of you reading that title thought, "Aha - I know what he's going to talk about," and thoughts of moonlit beaches and waves crashing against the shore came to mind. Maybe even the back of a bus shelter and romantic words such as, "Can you hurry up? If I miss the last bus me mam is gonna kill me."

Wrong. This is far more important. I am talking - music!

Can you remember the first record you bought? I can.

For reasons known only to himself,(more than likely it had something to do with a guilty conscience), my brother bought me a record voucher - a little red ticket stuck inside a small card. I spent days looking at it, examining the treasured gift from all possible angles - it looked so posh!

After about a week I decided which record I wanted to buy. The Small Faces, "Sha la la lee". The one that goes, "Picked her up on a Friday night, Sha la la la lee, yeah. I knew everything gonna be alright".

Years later I discovered that last sentence only applies to the actual Friday night - on Saturday morning reality kicks in! I played the record endlessly on an old Dancette record player and kept it until I came to Australia in 1981.

Of course the next step was my first LP. I refuse to refer to LPs as "Albums". If "LP" was good enough then, it's ruddy well good enough now. If I tell you what it was, you must promise not to laugh or walk away in disappointment.

"The Four Tops Greatest Hits". It cost 39/11 and I can still remember the cover.

Which brings me to another topic. Do you know what your CD covers look like? I don't. Half the time I know who the artist is but can not remember the title of the CD - let alone describe the cover. LP covers however, that's different!

Mention "Harvest" by Neil Young and I can give you a full description. "Mud Slide Slim"? I can see it now. "Tumbleweed Connection"? Not only can I see it - I can smell the parchment like pages inside. The only CD cover in my collection that I can describe to you, is the CD version of "Transformer" by Lou Reed.

I even remember where I bought most of those LPs. I bought Tumbleweed Connection in Spillers Record shop in Cardiff. My mum was going to buy it for me, and for some reason wanted to hear it first. So we sat in a sound proofed booth listening to it while I made enthusiastic comments such as, "Great innit mum." At that time I didn't know too much about body language, otherwise I wouldn't have asked that question and forced the poor thing to lie.

She was funny about music was my mum. Do any of you remember St Cecilia's, "Leap up and down wave your knickers in the air"? I bought the record and for a day or so would play and sing it at every opportunity. Of course I hoped to get some sort of negative reaction from the oldie, therefore giving me the opportunity to remind her this was the 20th century - in a patronising tone of voice of course. I did the same thing for the same reason with, "Je t'aime... moi non plus" with Jane Birkin. That would really get her going I thought - especially the bit where Jane sounds like I do now when I walk up steps.

Did I get a reaction? Zilch. In the end I stopped doing it because there was no point and I didn't like the bloody songs anyway. If I didn't know any better - I would have thought she used psychology. Good job I was cleverer than her!

I also remember what record was playing the first time I asked a girl to dance. It was the school Christmas "Disco" and I was thirteen. I wore a pink shirt with frills down the front and black high-waisted trousers. Thunderclap Newman's "Something In The Air" was playing and I bravely took the walk across the "dance floor" to tap a girl on the shoulder - an indication I wanted to dance. Can't remember who the girl was - but I sure remember the record!

But wait there's more! The first time I took a girl to my bedroom!

I had invited Sonya back to meet mum and dad - but the house was being decorated and the only place we could have any peace was my bedroom. I was rather proud of my mum for being so modern and not objecting or having any doubts about us. In fact she left us completely alone -

For the first five minutes.

Knock Knock. "Are you two warm enough in here?" Five minutes later, "I thought you might like a soft drink". Knock, knock. "You two must be hungry - I've made some sandwiches".

Now every time I hear, "In The Ghetto" I think of two early teens laughing so much, there wasn't a cat in hells chance of anything interesting happening.

I remember Sonya. Her mum was a model and drop dead gorgeous. She is the only model ever to ask me to take my trousers off. Nah - it wasn't like that. Sonya lived on the coast, (sounds like the opening words of a song) and we were clambering over rocks. My trousers spilt in the worst possible place for a young lad! Her mum offered to sew them up for me. You're disappointed? How do you think I feel!

Memories of my first crush on a teacher are evoked by Jimmy Hendrix and "All Along The Watchtower." We called her "Liz Tit". Aged about 25, big boobs, (hence her nickname) and long black hair, she wore leather skirts, drove an MG sports car, was the hardest caner in the school. She could sing, "All Along The Watchtower" in a voice that made you melt. I gave her the record in return for a Jethro Tull single. The link by the way, has a photo of me as a nipper.

Ah, if music be the food of love - Rock on Tommy.

Goodnight folks - Wherever you may be - be safe

Note: I have added about a dozen more labels to the list on the right hand panel and three more photos have been uploaded to the photoblog