Photo: I took this some months back. As I looked at it today in an enigmatic mood, I thought to myself, "take one step outside that crease mate - and you're going to have your bails whipped off".Is it just me or is life getting harder? I am not talking about the major things in life, but the little everyday things that once seemed so simple.
Take this afternoon for instance. All I wanted was a cup of coffee and a few biscuits - hardly the high life, I think you'd agree. There were no biscuits in the jar so I had to open a new packet. That's when the trouble started.
By the time I struggled to open outer packet, wrestled with the inner wrapping then prised the bloody things out of their far too small polythene compartments, I ended up with the sort of thing you used to get at the corner shop for half-price. Remember those days? "Please mister, me mam wants a bag of broken biscuits" then you look around to make sure that mam isn't around and add, "and I'll have five Woodbines and a box of matches".
I finally managed to find half-a-dozen biscuits that were in the shape and condition you see in adverts on the telly, then poured the hot water from the kettle into the cup.
That's when the water filter from the spout fell in. I fished it out only to find that not all the high-grade premium coffee beans from the instant Nescaf' had dissolved. Not to worry, I took my High Tea into my lounge, sat down, and started "flicking" the TV remote. Every damn station had adverts on at the same time - all showing calm, smiling faces enjoying a cup of coffee and a biscuit.
In fact, it is adverts such as these that make me want a cup of coffee and a few biscuits in the first place. I am a pretty observant sort of chap and long ago I realised that you don't see ugly people drinking coffee in these ads. They all have a dreamy air of sophistication and smooth skin. I reckon if I keep up this routine, by the time I am 97, I will look like that too.
Having let off steam about a few things I find irritating, the ball is now in your court. What gets up your hooter?
The best answer will receive a non-existent Team H anorak with a zipper that sticks half way up.
Which is a lot better than where zippers used to stick when I was a kid!
Wherever you may be - be safe!
