Hitch goes all Trinny & Susannah

I am starting a fund. No fancy launch with balloons, Chinese lanterns or any other form of razzmatazz - to me such launches always seem to be the brain child of those with a guilty conscience. As though some other form of irresponsibility has driven them to embark on environmental irresponsibility. Put on a show - to put on a show.

Although I agree that the beneficiary of my fund will rightly be regarded by many as being unworthy of my philanthropy, I can take no more. If it does not benefit him, then at least it will give comfort to me.

I am launching the, "Buy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad A New Jacket" campaign.

All donations will be used to pay for a crack team of retired shoppers I have hired to find a new jacket for Mr. Ahmadinejad. They will leave no stone unturned in their quest to fit him with a jacket - in fact, they are quite prepared to fit anyone up.

As part of the back-up service, they will even maintain it for him as they have a track record in laundering.

I have yet to decide the style of jacket that would best suit a man of his capabilities. What do you think - a nice 6os style flared jacket -

Or a straight one.

Wherever you may be - be safe

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